God's enemy

There was a time several years ago when I changed from merely ignoring our Savior to actively campaigning against Him. A long-lapsed Catholic, I had joined a Unitarian/Universalist church, after what I thought had been careful consideration of the facts, via examination of the tenets of many religions. At last, I had found a faith which allowed me to be free! I could form my own theology, unbounded by convention and dogma. At last, I had cast off the "cold hand of fear" from my Catholic background. I could look into the big questions about life after death. I could form my own ideas about God, and not have to worry about a thing, because I knew that whatever awaited me in the next life, it would be positive, and pleasant, and wonderful. I told anyone who would listen about what I had figured out; about how we should develop our own truth. I used to like to say that "truth should never be spelled with a capital T." At a discussion group one evening, I brought a mirror. I held it up, and said, "if you want to see God, look in here." I was even a guest speaker at one of our services, my sermon being the story of all my spiritual research, and conclusions. Yes, I was pretty darn smart, eh? I'd see ads on TV for Christian music, events, etc, and be amazed at the clips of people worshipping and singing. I thought, how in the world could these folks be so deluded? I wondered if they were just plain crazy. I drove past the Heaven's Gates and Hell's Flames billboard on the highway, and snickered about it, laughed at it. My spiritual condition was pretty sad, indeed. I was God's enemy, and I didn't even realize it. As UUism is pretty much an "umbrella" type of thing, the rules are pretty loose. I drifted farther and farther away from Him, dabbling in Paganism, even toying with Witchcraft! Imagine if He had decided to take me off the Earth back then-I shudder to think of it! Finally, I got to the point where I couldn't even take myself seriously anymore. I was beginning to laugh at myself.

And then, one day.....everything changed.

My wife Andrea (who was originally a Congregationalist, by the way) and I left the UU church, as there was still something missing for us. Her spiritual search hadn't gotten anywhere near as off-the-wall as mine had. One thing she did know was that she had put up with the whole UU thing long enough, and was unsatisfied with her spiritual situation as well. For all my experimentation and exploration, there was still no satisfaction, no fulfillment. What kind of church didn't hardly even mention God, except as an interesting topic of discussion now and then? Little hints came my way indirectly about the real Truth (yes, with a capital T) by way of a close friend of hers, Caroline. She didn't push it, but I would sometimes see Andrea watching a Christian program on TV, or mentioning something she and Caroline had discussed, etc. She was already moving closer to God, while I was still holding Him at arm's length. There was no big evangelistic push, nothing like that. No one tried to talk me into anything. So what happened to change my life so drastically?

Here's the cool part: I was walking through my living room one day (in November '05), when suddenly I stopped in my tracks. I didn't hear anything, see anything, or feel anything. I just suddenly realized something. Somehow, it was clear in my mind...Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior! That's it. I didn't weigh the evidence, come to a conclusion after extensive research, etc. etc., I just suddenly KNEW it! This was indeed the sovereignty of God in action. At the time and place which He chose, He lifted the veil from my eyes. Once that realization hit me, how could I resist? I promised myself that from that moment on, I'd never turn my back on Jesus Christ again.

God's enemy had surrendered, and chosen life. As a result, the victorious King welcomed His former adversary, calling him friend.